In our family, it’s become a tradition to make presents for our parents. This ends up happening three times a year – Christmas, birthdays, and mother’s/ father’s day. In recent years, occasionally the realisation that one or the other of these dates is looming quicker than expected is met with a cry of “bugger” and some hiding away until I’ve finished scribbling a poem, or something similar. Unsurprisingly, lots of my offerings these days are rather wordy. I’ve done villanelles, short stories, essays and lots in between. The one thing I miss about uni is not being able to read them aloud myself – relying on email instead, as I’m never organised enough to pop them in the post.
My brother, however, is the visual one. He’s been doodling away for years, and is prodigiously good with a fine-line pen. His cartoons, often poking gentle fun at my dad (the usual status quo in our family), are a bit of a highlight. We’ve been telling him for ages that he should think about doing designs for mugs/ t-shirts/ cushions/ face tattoos (ahem, maybe not the last). So you can imagine the thrill when I unwrapped this at Christmas – his drawings transferred onto a fair-trade, organic cotton (!) tee, specially personalized for me.
And look, look! Not only does it have coffee and a pen and a snazzy high heel on it, but - my personal favourite - a little banner proclaiming ‘equal rights’. This is the cherry on an already beautiful cake – and almost definitely testament to the number of times I’ve ended up talking with/ at him about feminism. He’s a much better informed fourteen year old than I was… (and occasionally comes out with an absolute gem of a sentence about gender, that just makes me want to hug him and say “my work here is done!”)
It’s incredibly special to receive a gift where the giver has truly thought about it – whether that means it’s been custom-made, or bought on whim because it was so perfectly apt. One of my friends at sixth form made me several mix-tapes (ok, playlists, but ‘mix-tapes’ sounds better), interspersing the songs with commentary. Amusingly, as I still have these on my iPod, occasionally the shuffle mode yields a little snippet of him cracking jokes or giving somewhat imaginative summaries of particular bands – his (then) seventeen year old voice spilling out into the kitchen as I cook. It’s either that, or Alan Bennett reading Alice in Wonderland. I’m not sure which I prefer, especially when sandwiched in between The Kinks and Goldfrapp.
In fact, I seem to have a bit of a track record (ha, ha) with music now – especially, in recent years, with records themselves. Whether it’s a re-issue of Nick Drake’s Five Leaves Left (one of my favourite albums ever – and it’s so pretty!) or James Brown being all sexy and brilliant on Live at the Apollo, it’s more than gratifying that my friends know me well enough to buy me vinyl I’ll truly value.
One of the other particularly extraordinary things I received at the end of last year was a record of Kate Bush’s Hounds of Love. I’d idly mentioned to a friend that I only had a CD version, and, lo and behold, several months later I was ripping off the paper and screeching (in a rather quiet coffee shop) at the special edition, with marbled pink vinyl. As well my appreciation for the item itself, it was also the way in which a comment I’d made in passing, without thought, had spooled back again, been picked up on, led to action. It was utterly and unexpectedly lovely.
It’s such fun giving these kinds of presents too, whether they’re an in-joke that only a particular friend would understand, something carefully put together with a specific individual in mind, or (another favourite recourse) giving books that you love so much yourself, you want to share them with others who you know will similarly ‘get’ them.
I’m back in Oxford now, and the t-shirt my brother made for me took pride of place in my suitcase. It’s a little like walking around with a resume or summary of myself on my chest, but maybe that’s no bad thing… At least people will know I’m bloody keen on equal rights.
The fabulous t-shirt was here worn with a polo-neck (theme of 2015 it seems), a second hand maxi-skirt I was given for Christmas, and accessories from a charity shop. I tried to match my shoes as closely as possible to the one drawn on the tee.
I also recently wrote a little piece for Guardian students talking about status games, popularity and concepts of 'cool' at university. You can read it here.
I also recently wrote a little piece for Guardian students talking about status games, popularity and concepts of 'cool' at university. You can read it here.
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